


A Hundred Tiny Threads

by severity_softly



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Disability, First Time, Forced Marriage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 12:15:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5707711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/severity_softly/pseuds/severity_softly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blinded in the final battle and stripped of his wand, Severus finds himself locked in a cell after the dust settles, feeling hopeless and no better than a Muggle. After a seemingly endless wait, he is finally allowed his "freedom" from Ministry incarceration only by, once again, binding his life to another's... but at least Lupin is better than the alternatives. (Canon through The Half-blood Prince, post-war AU after that.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hundred Tiny Threads

**Author's Note:**

> 2007 Snupin Santa gift for lysa1. Post-war, canon to HBP (AU). Title comes from a quote by Simone Signoret: "Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years."

In the wake of the final battle, the Ministry had gone off the deep end. Not that Severus had ever placed much stock in what the Ministry said or did before. Friedrich Nietzsche had once said, "Madness is rare in individuals but in groups, political parties, nations, and eras it's the rule." At thirty eight years of age, Severus could not disagree... He only wished he'd heard that particular quotation much earlier, before he took the mark and surrendered his life to a madman in the truest sense of the word.

Severus had lost track of how long he'd been here. The Ministry didn't really seem to know what to do with him. They hadn't thrown him in Azkaban (not that that was much of a threat anymore after the Dementors were gone), but he wasn't allowed his freedom either. Instead he was stripped of his wand and left in a cell... somewhere. No one would so much as tell him where he was, and it wasn't as though he hadn't had opportunity to find out. He was allowed to receive visitors and several of them a day seemed to show up, much to his chagrin.

He would much rather sit on his cot and stare at... well, nothing. Bellatrix's attempt to gouge out his eyes with her bare hands in the final battle had been both successful and a failure at the same time. The outward damage had been almost totally repairable with the exception of a now greyish cast that clouded even the whites of his eyes now, but the inward damage had not been so easy to fix. He could make out shapes, movement, even a very dull sense of colour, but not much else... and every time that door to his cell opened he felt exposed wandless and mostly sightless.

He stiffened when he heard the latch, swung his legs off the side of his cot and turned his head to glare in the general direction of the noise. After a moment, he squinted at the light pouring in from in, a fuzzy, roundish silhouette lumbering into the room.

"Severus Snape," a man said. Severus didn't recognise the voice. It was hollow and tinny with a little hint of nervousness. "Please come with me."

The first time someone had come to fetch him, the Ministry official charged with the task had attempted to help him and had had his wrist snapped. He supposed even they thought him useless now, no better than a Muggle (a quiet refrain that had begun to play over and over in his mind when all was quiet in his confines), as they didn't force him into submission even after that. They hadn't shackled him and drug him down the hallways. He almost wished they had, as it would have meant he wasn't as helpless as he felt. It would have meant he still had enough control to be feared. But, after learning very quickly not to touch him even if to guide him somewhere, they had only started using a more hands off approach, letting him follow their shadows, giving him quick directions, "Step down here, another, another, left turn, mind the swinging door."

They felt like the same directions as last time, when they had told him they intended to honour him with an Order of Merlin for his duties during the war... and then locked him back in his cell. Madness. Incomprehensible madness that only fueled Severus' ire at his situation which was not made better by the hours on end he spent alone lately only thinking.

"There's a chair about two feet in front of you, Mister Snape." It was still odd not having a title other than Mister in front of his name, but it was yet another thing the war had stripped away. "Please have a seat."

Severus stepped forward, reaching out at waist level for the back of the chair. When he found it, he slid around the front of it and seated himself as gracefully as he possibly could, crossing his legs and letting his upper foot bob irritably. He refused to speak. This man, whomever he was, was only going to speak in riddles and contradictions anyway.

Severus could hear the other man walking and then there was a hissing sound, air being pushed out of the cushion of a chair as the other man sat. "We will be preparing the papers for your release–"

"About bloody time," Severus spat... alright, perhaps his anger overpowered his will to keep silent. "You remove my wand, then tell me I'm to receive a medal of honour, only to lock me back in my little cell, and now, with no explanation, you're releasing me? Did some idiot make Potter Minister, because I fail to see the rationale behind any of this," he snapped.

"We're sorry, Severus."

Severus' head snapped toward the general direction of Kingsley's voice. 

"Who else is here?"

"Just me and Cornfoot."

Severus scowled, as he could only take Kingsley's word for it, and folded his arms over himself, refusing to relax in his seat, only sitting stiffly upright. "Get on with it them."

"Well, there are a few things that need to be discussed before we release you." There was a shuffling of papers, and Severus could see the white flashes of bleached parchments moving about in front of him. "The Ministry has enacted a law to ensure the safety of the wizarding, and indeed _Muggle_ , worlds now that Voldemort had been defeated. There are still many of His supporters out in the open and it is important to build a system of... checks, if you will."

"Checks?" Severus asked, suspicion lacing his voice. He didn't trust anything coming out of this Cornfoot's mouth to be good, especially not after the hesitation near the end.

"Ah, yes. The, ah, the Ministry is requiring all unmarried witches and wizards to be bound to another... magically."

"Marriage?" Severus asked, voice incredulous. The chair seemed to fall out from underneath him.

"Well, you can call it that, I suppose. We'd prefer to think of it as partnership. You see, we've worked very hard to match each single wizard to one another in a way that is beneficial to both the wizard and the Ministry, but placing those who were working for the Order with an Undesirable we can–"

"Not Undesirable, Cornfoot," Kingsly corrected.

"Excuse me?" Severus didn't have a wand... but he sorely wanted to curse the other two wizards into oblivion. Even if he had his wand, he couldn't see them to aim it the room was too dim, and they weren't moving enough. Merlin, he couldn't even throw anything at them. "I'm a what? Order of Merlin and I'm an _Undesirable_?"

"Mister Snape–"

"No! This is a violation of my rights! Of all of our rights. I did not live my life bound to two manipulative men only to be forced to be bound to yet another bloody person as soon as it was over." He could feel the heat in his face, which was twisted in rage. His fingers were gripping the edge of the chair fiercely... but he couldn't really do anything and that made this ten times worse.

"It's for the greater good," Cornfoot said softly, after a lengthy pause.

"If there was ever a statement that has caused more harm than good in our world, it is that one," Severus hissed.

"It's... not as though you don't have a choice in who we pair you with, Severus."

Severus turned his glare towards Kingsley's voice, and the brownish shadow moved towards him and seemed to sit. 

"Would you prefer a female... companion, or a male?"

"I'd prefer to be executed for my crimes."

 

***

 

It wasn't fair. Not in the least. But... Severus was also being unreasonable.

Minerva pushed past the security guards that lined the row of cells and waited to be let into Severus'. It was bare and grey and dark. She didn't suppose that Severus would have minded it much if he could see it, but she imagined not being able to see at all was probably driving him mad.

Her eyes fell on him, sitting at the edge of the bed as she always found him each time she came to visit. She regarded him sadly for a moment. His eyes aside, the final year of the war had left it's mark on him physically. He was thinner than he needed to be and more drawn. However, Severus didn't appreciate concern the way most did. He was likely to see it as pity. So when Minerva finally spoke, her tone was terse.

"You're a fool."

"And an Undesirable. And a murderer and a war hero. The list goes on and on, and makes very little sense." His expression was pinched.

Minerva sighed and crossed the room to sit on his cot next to him, sure to sit far enough away that she wasn't in danger of being snarled at for getting too close. "You're not an Undesirable. They didn't know where to put you. You're an Undefinable."

"...You're kidding."

"I wish I was. There's a small group of you, actually."

Severus didn't say a word, and Minerva turned from him, looking out at the room. What could she say to him that he didn't already know? She knew he probably felt hopeless and trapped, but somehow she didn't think he'd want her to address it.

"Do you really want to die, Severus?"

He didn't speak at first. He only frowned and dropped his gaze. "I want to be free, and if that's what it takes...."

Minerva sighed and was sorely tempted to wrap him in her arms. "They aren't going to kill you, Severus. It would be a bad public relations move."

Severus snorted, and Minerva couldn't even stop a small smile.

"It doesn't have to be that bad. Albus wouldn't have wanted this for you."

"Forgive me, but I finally don't have to care about what Albus wants or does not want and I intended to revel in that."

"Severus," Minerva snapped, not having meant to. She stood and paced to the door. "They aren't going to let you out unless you submit to the new laws. No one is immune, you know, it's not just you, and the fact remains that while you may not have the freedom of being truly unattached to anyone if you allow it, you will still be more free than you are sitting in this cell."

She knocked on the door for the guard to unlock it again and let her out, and Severus just turned to stare in her general direction. After a moment, the door swung open.

"I'd prefer not to watch you make yourself any more of a martyr than the war has already done to you."

With that, she stepped out, the metal door clanking shut behind her.

 

***

 

It took another week for Severus to concede. She didn't come to visit him after that, which probably only hastened his decision. Bloody woman probably did it on purpose. The others had stopped visiting as well, and he suspected it was by her intervention. He had a half formed a mental image of Granger tied up and gagged in Minerva's closet, because, knowing her, she wouldn't have approved of proving a point by isolation.

Minerva had been right, as much as he was loathe to admit it. He didn't have to like this other person. He didn't even have to be civil. All he had to do was cohabitate, and the option of doing anything other than listen to the silence of the room as it battled the whirring string of anger and regret in his own head was enticing after he got over the indignity of the situation.

Cornfoot came every day to ask if he'd changed his mind only to be greeted with silence, or a reminder that he'd rather die, until the eighth day after Minerva's visit. When Severus had spouted off his preference for a "partner" (a male, someone unintrusive) as soon at the man was through the door, and Severus recognised the shadow (he was getting better at that). Cornfoot had seemed a little taken aback... and a little more relieved than Severus liked.

He hated that it pleased them, even in the least, and the upbeat tone Cornfoot's voice took on had made him almost reconsider. Instead he let Cornfoot lead him down the maze of hallways again and signed his release paper.

"Mister Snape, there is... one more thing."

Severus was almost angry at the mere suggestion that there was more. Hadn't he already given over enough? He just wanted to leave this place and go to sleep in his own bed for the first time in over a year.

"About your residence–"

Severus stiffened. "What about my home?"

"It was... destroyed... by Death Eaters, after your true loyalties were revealed. We... have reason to believe Bellatrix Lestrange might still be waiting on your release to... take... revenge."

Severus felt cold. Numb. Normally he would have laughed the threat of her off, but it wasn't easy to stop the chill from washing over him now. He couldn't defend himself against someone he couldn't see.

"There was enough in the Albus Dumbledore Memorial Veteran's Fund to purchase you and your partner a home here in London, one which has been placed under wards and privacy spells for your protection. We've also been careful in selecting your partner. He is very skilled in defense and..."

Cornfoot rattled on, but Severus was barely listening anymore. The notion that he needed protection settled like a lead weight in his gut. He hadn't expected to leave the war and not have anyone who still wanted his head on a platter... but the thought that it would be difficult, if not impossible to defend himself was only just hitting him. He almost wished they would just kill him.

"..Remus Lupin."

Any self loathing he was busy with came to a screeching halt. The name just spoken bringing him back into the conversation fast.

"What?"

"I was saying, he's very skilled in defense, and he's your age. I said I believed you knew him as well. Remus Lupin."

Severus couldn't think, couldn't process the reality of what had just been said. He felt frozen in place, and it took him several moments before he could speak again, his tone deathly serious. "Is it too late to un-sign my release papers?"

 

***

 

It could have been worse, Remus thought. He had found himself firmly entrenched in Greyback's pack the final year of the war, having convinced the alpha he had been fighting on his side the night that Albus was murdered. His hands certainly weren't clean. He'd killed, and without the aide of Severus' Wolfsbane, he had probably even turned his share of the new wolves that filled out Fenrir's pack during the final year. That was worse than anything else, he thought, to know that he'd possibly inflicted his curse on anyone else.

He didn't know this for sure, of course, seeing as how he didn't remember a thing when transformed, but he doubted the likelihood that he hadn't.

He supposed the only thing that had saved him from winding up in the same position Severus was in was that his position had not been kept as secretive as Severus' had been. There were a small handful in the Order that knew he was acting for the Order, and they had spared him months of imprisonment... probably worse, considering the majority of the pack had been rounded up and executed following the final battle.

He really didn't know how he felt about being partnered with Severus. He was torn, if he was honest with himself. He'd never disliked the man before. Or at least he hadn't until Severus murdered Albus. After that, it seemed like every negative thought he'd kept at bay about Severus seemed to spring to the surface. Severus was responsible for the loss of so many people he loved James, Lily, Albus... even Sirius, to a certain extent. He'd spent the last year hating Severus in a way he hadn't ever thought possible... and then the war was over and truths were laid bare and all Remus was left with was a resounding sense of guilt that he'd felt that way, no matter how much he knew he had every right to.

Remus had been in the Ministry assigned home for several days. He'd moved in what little belongings he owned, and Minerva had been by with housewarming gifts, some books and linens. He supposed it was nerves at seeing Severus again for the first time since catching a fleeting glimpse of him fleeing the school the spring before last, but he seemed compelled to clean and tidy the house. It was silly, considering the house wasn't in need of cleaning and Severus couldn't see it anyway. Not that Severus would have been impressed either way.

Remus had been warned about Severus' state. He was told all about Severus' condition both mentally and physically, and informed that Severus would be given a wand. Not his own wand, _a_ wand. After much deliberation, they had decided that, not only was Severus a danger based on his history, but that his lack of vision made him even more of a threat now. The wand he was provided with was spelled to perform only certain functions, those designed to assist with Severus' daily living.

It was a dreadful thing to do to a wizard so proud, and Remus was not expecting this to be easy. Not that he had thought it would go smoothly from the start, but he couldn't begin to imagine what Severus was feeling. It was for that reason Remus' heart jumped into his throat when he heard the knock at the door the evening Severus was meant to be dropped off.

He crossed the room to the door, and after a moment of hesitation he turned the locks, swinging the door open to see Severus standing on the doorstep. There was a squat man with a moustache standing behind him and looking nervous. "Don't touch him," he spoke up, and Remus flinched at those being the first words spoken in this meeting. Remus held up a hand to silence the other man and turned his attention to Severus.

He didn't have to hide his shock. Not really. But he did. Severus was thinner than he had been since the last Remus had seen him. He was drawn, paler than normal... but the most striking difference was the cloudy, dark grey cast his eyes had taken on. Remus tried not to stare, regardless of whether Severus could see it, and averted his eyes, trying to convince himself it wasn't... _eerie_.

"Hello, Severus," Remus said softly.

"Are you going to stand in my way all evening, or are you going to let me in?" Severus asked, looking right through Remus.

"Oh, I–" Remus stepped aside, and Severus stepped right in the room, walking forward so confidently that Remus wondered for a moment if reports on his vision loss were not wildly overblown. But then Severus paused as he neared the edge of the sofa, stepping back and then trying again until he found a clear path, and it was only then that Remus noticed the wand he had clenched in his hand.

"Where will I be sleeping?" Severus asked, making his way to the center of the room with some trial and error.

"The master bedroom," Remus answered. He didn't need that much space, and he thought Severus would appreciate it. "It's... to your left. Directly."

Severus didn't waste any time to turn himself toward the bedroom and slowly make his way there. He slowed near the door, and Remus wondered if he was going to back step, thinking Severus might think he was just going to run into something.

"Right in front of you. The door is closed."

Severus stepped forward and felt for the handle, and as soon as he found it he opened the door and slipped inside, shutting it with a bang behind him.

"It's like a bubble," the short wizard's voice said behind him, and Remus turned to find he had followed them into the room. "Phineus Cornfoot," he offered, holding his hand out to Remus'.

Remus took it hesitantly. "Remus Lupin, but I'm sure you knew that."

"That spell is like a bubble," Cornfoot went on. "It insulates the caster. Objects that get too close place pressure on the 'bubble,'" he said, making quotes in the air, "Pressure the caster can feel."

"Oh," Remus said. He really didn't have anything to say to the other man. He'd already been briefed on Severus, and he just wanted to settle in for the night as comfortably as he could. He certainly didn't want to chat with one of the Ministry officials who had put him and Severus in this uncomfortable, at best, situation.

"He probably won't need it here after a while, so long as you don't redecorate," Cornfoot said, laughing in a way that reminded him a little of Peter. It didn't endear him to the other man in the least.

There was another wizard levitating a small traveling case into the room, and Remus directed him to leave it by Severus' bedroom door. When he turned back around Cornfoot was staring at him.

"If you have any problems with him, let us know."

Remus couldn't help but frown at the other man. "Isn't that the point of this? Make us all babysit one another?"

Cornfoot's smile faded fast. "Yes, well, Mister Snape is a special case. He–"

"Are we through?" Remus couldn't help but feel a little bad at the way Cornfoot shifted on his feet, but that didn't change the way he felt.  
"Yes, Mister Lupin, I believe we are."

Remus made quick work of getting the other wizard out of the house and resetting his wards, and then promptly stood in the entry way, completely unsure what to do next. It was silly, really. Severus had just disappeared into his room without a word, but Remus somehow felt different, as if his presence left more of an impact now and he needed to be cautious of what he did.

After a few moments of silence and stillness, he stepped in the sitting room, rolling his neck, and looked at the case sitting in front of Severus' door. He supposed Severus knew it was coming. He also imagined Severus was getting on well enough, as he hadn't heard a sound come from the door since Severus stepped inside.

He stepped toward the door slowly and came to a stop a few feet in front of it. "Severus?" he said softly. There was no answer after a few moments, so he went on. "Should I bring your case in?"

"No," came the immediate reply.

"Have– have you eaten?"

The next reply was slower in coming. "Yes."

Remus almost smiled at how awkward this was, almost smiled out of sheer embarrassment at the situation, but he didn't. "I'm sure Ministry food can't be all that good."

He stood there until it was clear those two words were all he was going to get out of Severus that night, and then turned on his heel and headed to the kitchen to make himself a dinner.

 

***

 

The case was gone from outside of Severus' door the following day, but Severus was still out of sight. Remus wondered if Severus was avoiding him completely, waiting for Remus to go to sleep in order to come out and eat or do anything else. He didn't see Severus for the first couple of days and after a while, he had started to worry.

He hadn't expected this to be easy, or for them to suddenly become friends. That was not even something he dared to wish for. But he hadn't expected this outright avoidance either. He was not going to go knocking on Severus' door, however. He had a feeling that would do nothing but make things worse.

He was glad then when Severus emerged on the third day and paused. He seemed to be waiting for any indication that Remus was there, and Remus eyed his still form for a moment before speaking.

"I was beginning to think I'd never see you."

Severus' features went from curious to dark in a matter of seconds as soon as Remus opened his mouth. "Wouldn't that be lucky." He looked a little lost for a moment, in spite of the scowl, and Remus shifted in his seat to better see him. "Where's the kitchen?" Severus asked finally.

"It's– you haven't eaten since you've been here?!" Remus sprung out of his seat, towards Severus, forgetting himself for a moment and thinking he'd help Severus to the sofa.

"Don't touch me," Severus hissed when he got near.

Remus stopped, dropping his eyes to the wand in Severus' hand before backing away a little. "I– Severus, sit down. I'll make you something," he said.

Severus seemed to consider it, and Remus really didn't know what could be so difficult about doing what he said. Still, it seemed to take quite a lot of thought before Severus nodded slightly and moved to take a seat. Remus moved into the kitchen and started pulling things out of the drawers.

Severus sat, back straight, but Remus could tell by his expression that he was listening to Remus intently. He pulled a tin of biscuits from a cabinet and nibbled one. "Biscuit?"

"No," Severus replied, brow creasing.

"All right," Remus said, and then looked at what he'd pulled out. "I... really don't know what you like. Is a sandwich all right? Turkey?"

"Fine."

Remus wondered if it was really fine, or if Severus wanted as little interaction as possible and was just agreeing to get this over with. He tried to ignore the nagging feeling in his gut, as he assembled the sandwich and arranged it on a plate, cutting it in half. He finally moved back into the sitting room and held out the plate to Severus. "Right in front of you," he said, and waited for Severus to take the plate before sitting down on the other end of the sofa. "This... doesn't have to be so terrible, Severus," he said softly, after a long pause.

Severus didn't reply at first. He only felt for his sandwich, moved it to his mouth and took a bite. He chewed, his expression a little thoughtful, and then finally spoke after he swallowed. "I don't imagine you're any more thrilled about this than I am."

"No... I'm not particularly enthused about having no choice in the matter. The Ministry--"

"Is absolutely barking. Outside of being an absolute violation of human rights, they've paired a dark wizard with a dark creature, an Undefinable with an Undesirable."

Remus flinched at being called a creature, and he was glad Severus couldn't see it. "I'm... not actually. They decided that, considering my service to the Order, with the Wolfsbane, I am not considered an Undesirable. I think that's one of the reasons you were paired with me."

Severus turned his head in the direction of Remus' voice, scowling. He seemed to have forgotten his food. "And how do they expect that I can brew your potion, when I can not even..." he trailed off, and his expression clamped down. 

Remus sighed. "'Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.'"

There was a long pause before Severus spoke. "Well said, Lupin."

"Oh, I was just quoting," Remus said lightly. "Groucho Marx." He shifted a little, wishing Severus would eat, but Severus was only frowning in thought. "I suppose they expect you to use my eyes," he said, careful to keep his tone even.

Severus' frown only deepened, and then he was standing and moving back to his room. "Impossible," he said, before adding, "Though I suppose if you eat me, I'll at least be free."

Remus couldn't help but frown.

 

***

 

Remus was surprised to find Severus sitting on the sofa again the next morning, and he fixed the man breakfast when he made his own. They seemed to fall into a pattern after that. Severus would remain in his room most of the day, but would come out at regular intervals for meals. They didn't talk much. Severus didn't allow for it, as much as Remus tried.

The first week was drawing to an end, and Remus knew what was coming. They both knew. The Ministry was, at least, not so stupid as to bind to wizards to one another without at least a trial period to make sure they weren't going to throttle one another, but the spell to bind them to one another was coming. It was coming once exactly one week had passed, unless Severus had reasonable objection.

They both had reasonable objections, he thought. However, fighting the details seemed a hopeless battle to Remus at this juncture, and there were many options other than Severus that would have been much worse. In fact, aside from the cold treatment, Severus wasn't bad at all. He was quiet, and decent company when he graced Remus with more than a few words at a time.

The morning of the seventh day was quieter than usual. Remus cooked in silence, and Severus did not break it. When Remus moved into the sitting room, he sighed. "You know, we can eat at the dining room table."

"There's a dining room?" Severus asked. There was something in his tone that made Remus feel a little guilty.

"Yes. Just through the kitchen," Remus said softly, "Shall we?"

Severus turned toward him, then sat up off the couch. Remus moved toward the kitchen door, and Severus followed behind him. 

"If you turn–"

"I can follow you," Severus cut him off and did just that.

Remus wondered if Severus could see him, even if just a little. He hadn't asked. 

Remus sat in one of the chairs and directed Severus into another before putting the plate down in front of him... and then the uncomfortable silence settled around them. They didn't talk much during meals, but there was a little conversation. Today it seemed they were both avoiding talking as much as possible. When they were done, Remus collected the plates and set them to washing themselves in the sink. 

He turned back to Severus, watching him sit there for a moment before speaking. "I could... give you a tour... I probably should have done it sooner," he admitted.

"That would be agreeable."

"All right. Well, there isn't much in the dining room, save the table and chairs. In here..." He paused. How was he going to show Severus where things were? "Can you see me?" he asked.

"Oh, perfectly," Severus said, dripping sarcasm.

" _Severus_. "

"I can see your basic form," Severus said. "If it's light enough. I suppose I could follow you in darkness with the spell, if I just followed the only moving solid object."

"All right. The cooker is here," Remus said, moving to stand in front of it and feeling not the slightest bit silly for it. "Sink, cabinets, pantry," he listed off, indicating each by moving to it. Severus turned his head and followed his movement. "If you want to..." he started, moving back towards the kitchen door, and Severus stood and followed him through. "There's, of course, your room and en suite to the right, front door directly ahead, and a fireplace connected to the Floo in front of the sofa. If you go immediately left from out of the kitchen, you'll find the foot of the stairs, underneath of which there's the second downstairs bath." 

Remus started up the stairs and Severus followed slowly behind. "There isn't much upstairs," Remus continued. "Just my bedroom to the left, the study straight ahead, and the bath on the right."

Severus stepped forward and into the study as the door was open.

"There's not much. Just a desk, a few books, and–"

Remus stopped when there was a knock at the door, and Severus turned back to look in his direction. Neither one of them spoke. Neither one of them moved. It was almost as if they both thought if they didn't move, whoever was at the door would assume they were gone and leave. It was a little silly, Remus knew, but there really wasn't anything to say, and he really didn't want to face what was waiting for them.

After a long pause, there was another knock. "I should get that," Remus said, feeling a little stupid for it. "Can you get back down on your–"

"I can."

"Right." Remus nodded at Severus and started back down the stairs.

He walked to the door, drew a deep breath and opened it.

"Remus," Cornfoot greeted, looking a little too cheery, and Remus wished he was less familiar with his name.

"Cornfoot," he replied. "I'd ask you to come in, but it seems you've already invited yourself," he added, when Cornfoot passed by him.

"Where is Mister Snape then?" the little man asked.

Remus wondered if he was oblivious to what Remus said or just ignoring it. "He's upstairs," he answered, shutting the door.

"How's it been?" Cornfoot asked, rocking on the balls of his feet.

"Fine," Remus answered. The more he saw of Cornfoot, the less he wished to talk to him.

Severus was descending the stairs slowly, sliding his foot forward on each step until he reached the edge, then stepping down. Remus mused to himself that Severus had probably gotten some practise for this in life, having always been so calculating and methodical. It would have driven Remus mad to have to move so carefully, which said a lot, as he was generally more reserved than most. Severus reached the bottom and turned toward them.

"Mister Snape, how has it been?"

Severus only turned to stare in the direction of Cornfoot's voice. It was funny, Remus thought, as he watched Cornfoot shift on his feet, that Severus could still look intimidating without words or even eye contact.

"Well, ah... I guess we should..."

Severus moved forward, and Remus held out his hand. Severus did not. 

"What are my options?" he asked, and Remus dropped his hand.

Cornfoot gave Remus an apologetic look, but Remus only crossed his arms over his chest.

"You either consent to being bound to Remus now, or we move you to a new partner and see if that works out better for you."

"Who is next on the list? Surely you know where else you intend to shunt me off to."

"Ah," Cornfoot started, then pulled a slip of parchment out of the satchel around his shoulder. He scanned the page for what he was looking for. "We're running out of wizards in your age range. When a generation goes through two wars, people either pair off or die off." He laughed at that, and Remus thought it was a little inappropriate. "It appears that, while not nearly as safe a match, Charlie Weasley is the next–"

Cornfoot didn't have to finish his sentence before Severus held out his hand towards Remus.

Remus reached up and hesitantly took it. It was... _strange_. Remus was sure he'd never actually touched Severus before. His fingers were long and slender and cool to the touch. His hand almost felt delicate, and Remus tried to cover the little thrill at the feel of it in his fingers.

And then Cornfoot's wand was pressing into the side of his hand, and touching Severus didn't feel quite so... _intimate_ , anymore.

Cornfoot started the incantation to bind Remus and Severus together magically. It was almost a musical string of words, lilting out of the man's mouth. Remus could feel something unseen wrap itself around their joined hands. It was hot and growing tighter as Remus wondered stupidly if he might crush Severus' fingers. Cornfoot preformed a little wand movement, and the sensation spread, the pressure sweeping through his entire body so quickly it nearly stole Remus' breath. Severus drew a sharp breath, and the feeling slowly dissipated, the tightness slowly uncoiling until they felt normal again. 

No one spoke for a moment, though Severus quickly withdrew his hand as soon as the spell was done, the mildly surprised expression on his face melting back into a scowl. In spite of having known what was going to happen, having accepted it as an inevitability, Remus still couldn't quite process that he was now, effectively, married to Severus Snape.

 

***

 

Minerva and Hermione had been by. Severus hadn't spoken with either of them, but he was relieved they had come, if only because each of them had brought things of use to him. Hermione had given Remus a set of Quick Quills to give him, and Minerva had shown up with a Daily Prophet. He wasn't sure who was paying for it, but the newspaper continued to show up on a daily basis. Remus tended to leave it on the dining room table for Severus after he was through with it.

He was starting to learn the layout of the home, so he wasn't using his wand as much to get around. Not that he spent much time outside of his room. He'd felt utterly useless during his imprisonment and move here, but with the help of a charm that essentially read for him, he was able to read the paper, and now with the Quick Quills, he was once again an armed man. Where his wand failed him now, his words most certainly would not.

It had been two weeks since they had been bound together and only a few days since Hermione had brought the quills. Just knowing the stack of coarsely worded letters were sitting on the small desk in his room, waiting to be mailed out, already left him feeling a little more in control of his situation, even if it was just the illusion of control.

"I need an owl," he announced without preamble, upon emerging from his room just before dinner.

The Remus shaped form, the only moving form in the room, shifted. He assumed Remus was turning to look at him.

"We can go to Diagon Alley and get one... or I can go, if you'd prefer."

"That would be best," Severus said. It wasn't as though Severus wished to remain in hiding even after being "freed," but he wasn't sure if it was safe to go to someplace that populated. It felt a little like putting a rather large bulls eye on himself

Besides, it would leave him to explore the house alone. Remus wasn't terrible company. He was quiet most of the time and a decent cook, but Severus still didn't feel quite at ease with someone else in the house.

 

***

 

"Are you hungry?" Remus asked after a long pause, and Severus nodded.

They hadn't broken the pattern they had been in at all. Remus sighed and stood to go into the kitchen. He couldn't help but wish that Severus might speak to him at times other than meal times. He knew it was too much to hope for, but it didn't stop him from wanting it. He'd realised in the past week how little he actually knew of Severus. There were a lot of things he _thought_ he knew about Severus, but nothing real. He knew a little more now than he did before. He knew Severus took far too much sugar in his tea, and that he had a habit of pacing. He hadn't seen that so much as heard that. The walls in this house were thin and his extra sensitive hearing helped.

He finished cooking, not speaking, lost in thought. He hadn't realised that Severus was still sitting on the sofa until after he was done. "It's ready."

Severus nodded, and they both settled themselves at the table.

"What do you do in there all day?" Remus asked cautiously as they began to eat.

Severus didn't answer at first. He seemed to be considering whether or not he wanted to, which struck Remus as odd. Why did he have to keep so private, even now that the war was over? Perhaps, it was just habit.

"Writing letters, editorials and the like..."

That would explain the need for an owl. "To who?"

"The Ministry, the Daily Prophet... It seems that no one has yet questioned this law. Or, at least, the Ministry is keeping them quiet."

"Likely the latter." Remus shifted in his seat. "This could be worse."

"True. You actually leave me alone."

Remus smiled... and then he laughed. He couldn't help it. "Yes. I have little doubt that, while you can't hex my bollocks off any longer, you'd likely rip them off if you felt it necessary. I'm trying not to overstep."

Severus flushed, and Remus went silent, wondering if he had just overstepped by making mention of the fact that Severus was not allowed his wand any longer. He wasn't sure why it was a subject that needed to be danced around, but it apparently did. That, or perhaps the subject of Severus' hypothetical ire had been uncomfortable.

Remus didn't speak again until their meal was nearly finished, and then his voice was soft. "The full moon is next week."

Severus sighed and put his fork down, even though he wasn't done with his meal. He pushed back in the chair an stood. "I'll prepare a list necessary supplies for you." With that, Severus left the room.

Remus felt he was getting a little too used to the sight of Severus slipping in his door and shutting it behind him.

 

***

 

Remus was starting to wonder if perhaps they needed more than one owl. In just the first week since purchasing her, Severus had sent the poor bird out at least twice a day, sometimes with multiple letters at a time. He'd written just about every wizarding newspaper, magazine, and wireless network he could think of, as well as both national and international wizarding law organizations.

On the plus side, Severus was spending more time in the shared parts of the house. Remus found that he was growing fond of even the terse instructions he gave their owl before sending her out, and the small bits of conversation he got out of Severus between trips to and from her cage.

"I think you ought to give her a name."

Severus snorted. "You give her one."

"All right. How about Irene?"

"Irene?" Severus turned towards him, frowning. "Most definitely not."

Remus smiled. Just like Severus to act like he didn't care when he obviously did. "Xiomara?"

Severus considered it for a moment. "Fine." He paused for a moment, shifted on his feet as if he might consider sitting down, but wouldn't. "Did you purchase the necessary items?"

"Of course, I did," Remus replied, and the reminder that they had to attempt to brew his potion this afternoon chilled Remus again. He wasn't a bad brewer, but he really didn't trust himself to pull off a successful batch of Wolfsbane. He really didn't know how it was going to go. He only knew he was warding himself in his bedroom under the most powerful ward he could manage, and he was going to ask Severus if he could ward him in as well.

"When shall we...?"

"We can do it now," Severus said, his tone more suggestive than commanding.

"Yeah, I suppose. I have everything set up in the dining room." After lunch, Remus had decided to get all the set up out of the way... and then promptly ignore it was there until he couldn't any longer.

"Have you been keeping the aconite in cold storage?"

"Yes, Severus, I followed your directions exactly."

 

***

 

Severus was torn. On one hand, he was certain that he was a good teacher... with students who bloody listened and did as they were told. He, truthfully, couldn't recall how Remus had done in potions in school, but he was certain Remus was as interested in getting this correct as he was. On the other hand, he couldn't help but feel a little disheartened that he couldn't do it completely on his own.

He moved to the kitchen, then through to the dining room and felt for the cauldron. It felt the right thickness, and Severus picked it up to feel the weight and thickness of the bottom. He couldn't help but sniff it, as well, not just to see if it was clean, but because he missed the smell of regularly heated metal.

He placed it back on the table. "You'll need a low heat under that."

"Right."

He heard Remus move, then light a match; the smell of sulfur hit his nose next. He started to give Remus directions, listening to the crunch of a blade through herbs. He tested each by feel before approving them. Remus was almost silent, he assumed in concentration. It wasn't until they were about halfway through that he had to touch Remus.

"There's a specific way to stir here," he said softly. "The stirring rod needs to be near the center of the cauldron," he continued. He couldn't stall. Time was an issue, so as soon as Remus confirmed that the stirring rod was where it needed to be, he reached forward to take the end of it, clasping his hand over Remus.

There was a intake of breath from across the table, but otherwise there was no reaction. Remus' hands were warm, and smoother than he'd expected, and he tried to ignore the thrill of the feeling. _When was the last time he'd willingly touched someone? When was the last time anyone had willingly let him touch them?_

"Keep me mostly in the center," he said, and he started the motion, Remus retraining his movement just enough to keep him center. He withdrew his hand as soon as was safe to, and brushed his hand on his trousers, unconsciously wanting to wipe the lingering feeling of Remus' hand off his own.

"It needs to rest for thirty minutes," he said, "No longer."

"All right. Shall I fetch you?"

Severus paused. He knew he should retreat again, but he felt uncomfortable leaving such a delicate potion, even if he couldn't see it, and their conversations were growing less and less tense lately. "Is there any tea?"

He couldn't see Remus' smile, but he could hear it, along with his surprise, in his voice. "Darjeeling or orange pekoe?"

 

***

 

Severus had allowed himself to be warded into his room for the evening, and Remus did the same to himself upstairs. The potion did work, though it was not without its problems. He was in pain the entire night. He wondered if perhaps he always felt this way as the wolf and properly brewed Wolfsbane masked the pain, or if it was a direct result of the potion being off, but it hardly seemed to matter.

His body shifted back into its human form, and Remus collapsed in bed with a groan. Pain was radiating to every corner of his body and he couldn't bring himself to even get up and go get himself something for it. And then his head felt as though it was being smacked soundly and repeatedly with a two by four. He moaned, clamping his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose before he realised the pounding wasn't pounding at all. It was a knock on his bedroom door.

"I– ohh." Remus fumbled for his bed sheets to cover himself, forgetting Severus couldn't see him in his modesty, and once he was mostly covered he spoke again, voice so hoarse he wasn't sure if Severus would even hear him. "Come in."

The door clicked open and Severus froze in it, that lost expression on his face again that he used to get when he first moved in to the house. He'd never been in this room before.  
"I'm here. There's nothing in your way."

"You _whimpered_ all evening. Is that normal?"

Remus frowned and closed his eyes. "N--no. It's not. It was unusually painful."

"What did it feel like?" Severus' tone was business-like.

"I don't– Like something deep inside my body, like the center of me was on fire, and it radiated out to every place else."

"Too much aconite. You do realise the potion is essentially a poison and can kill even you in the right dosages, don't you?"

"Severus, I–" Before Remus even got started with his sentence, he was interrupted by the sound of Severus' footsteps descending the stairs. He looked up to see that Severus had moved out of the doorway, but left the door open. 

Remus was tempted to shut it again. Why did he feel so embarrassed about being naked in his own home, when the only other inhabitant was blind? He squirmed a little at the thought, as it seemed to somehow float seamlessly into the memory of the way Severus' hand felt on his last night, the way it had felt when they'd been bound together... and then how he'd refused to even consider wanking to the thought. It was _Severus_ , and he was only lonely.

Before he'd managed to get the energy to get up and shut the door, however, Severus reappeared, holding a bottle of pain potion, a wet rag, and a bezoar. Remus could only assume Severus had used a spell to read the bottles and the bezoar was one of Severus' own possessions.

Severus stepped across the room, stopping where Remus told him to (had Severus grown to trust his word that completely? It only just struck Remus now) and held out the bezoar. Remus took it and stuck it in his mouth as Severus unscrewed the cap of the bottle. The pain did not subside much, but his body no longer felt as if it were humming with it.

"You don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do. If you expire, they will give me to a _Weasley_."

Remus couldn't help it. He laughed, which caused his chest to ache and his eyes to water. Severus looked un-fazed

"Besides, I won't next time. If this hasn't taught you how to follow instructions, nothing will."

Remus took the bottle from Severus, when Severus held it out, and drank about half... and then Severus did something he didn't expect. He knelt down, felt for Remus, and brushed the rag over Remus' forehead. "Likely running a fever if it was enough to make you ill," he explained.

Remus was tempted to say he could do it himself, but the wonder that Severus was doing it for him gave him pause to mention it. After plainly staring at Severus for a moment, Remus started to relax. It was soothing. He closed his eyes.

It was silent for a long time. Severus would occasionally pull the rag away and swing it in the air so that when he brought it back to Remus' skin it was cooled again. Remus' mind started to wander, and eventually he spoke again, his voice very soft. "You know, I spent the last year of the war hating you more than I thought it was possible for me to hate anyone."

Severus' movements paused briefly, and then began again after a moment.

"I'm sorry," Remus muttered.

This time when Severus' movements stopped, they didn't start again. "Sorry for what?"

"A million things," Remus replied honestly, "But that apology was for hating you when you least deserved it." Remus pulled the rag off his forehead, feeling already considerably better than he had before, though the ache in his bones would take time, not pain remedies, to get better again. He turned his head to see Severus simply staring.

"You were supposed to, Lupin," Severus said finally, and then he stood and left the room.

 

***

 

In the next few weeks, letters were not only pouring out of their shared home, but pouring in as well. Severus' letters and editorials were certainly making the rounds, and Remus was certain that Severus' name being attached to them had garnered the sort of interest that they had. If it had been him, or some other witch or wizard, the letters might have gone straight in the bin as soon as they were opened, if they were opened at all.

Severus was getting requests for interviews, and he was actually giving them as well. Remus might have been amused by it, if it wasn't for the constant string of Ministry approved visitors it brought to the house. If he was honest with himself, he might have admitted that a small part of him was growing fond of Severus being around, he was growing to enjoy the sound of Severus' voice even when he was speaking to other people, and it bothered him to see Severus fight so hard to cut him out of his life for good.

Remus was sure Severus would, and he was surprised by how much he didn't want that to happen.

The next full moon passed with far less pain than the time before, though the potion was not as good as Severus' had been when he could see. Severus met him the following morning and Remus lied and told him he was fine. He didn't want to make Severus feel bad. The first month it had been so easy for Severus to blame him, but if it he had continued to tell Severus he was in pain, Severus might start to get down on himself for not being quite as capable without his vision.

He staggered about trying to heal himself, all the while wishing to feel Severus' hands on him again as they were both times they'd brewed, and as they had been when Severus had mopped his brow with the wet cloth.

Severus' presence was clearly affecting his sanity.

 

 

Remus had lied to him.

It was a funny thing about being blind. You learned to pick up on subtle things that you might not have noticed before, like the hint of pain in someone's voice even when they told you they were _just fine, thanks_ , and they didn't need your help. Severus stood in Remus' doorway for a long moment, debating arguing the point, but decided against it and headed slowly down the stairs.

Severus honestly wasn't sure why he even wanted to help. It wasn't as if Remus had ever been a friend, ever been anyone Severus would have gone out of his way to help before. Maybe it was just that he wanted to feel useful. He was doing what he could when it came to changing things outside their house, but when it came to things inside it, Severus felt at a loss, having been stripped of most of his vision and magic all at once. He didn't like accepting charity, and Remus was doing all of the cooking, the cleaning... Severus couldn't even brew on his own. The Ministry had succeeded in making him dependent on Lupin, but when Remus was recovering from his transformations, he could at least speed that recovery... he could at least serve some kind of purpose.

Remus had been grateful, as well. He could tell not only by the simple fact that Remus had allowed him to do it, but by the sound of his voice and the unprovoked apology. Severus couldn't remember the last time he'd helped someone and been shown immediate gratitude. He didn't need thanks when it came to the war. He didn't want the Order of Merlin. What he'd done was done. He didn't want grievances for past mistreatment and he didn't want people who honestly disliked him before to suddenly fall at his feet in thanks...

Even still, for that very reason, for the thanks he could hear in Remus' voice for what he was doing that very moment, helping Lupin had felt more satisfying than just about anything he'd done to help win the war.

 

***

 

Another full had passed and Remus wasn't feeling particularly well. Severus had outright insisted on helping him this time, and Remus was appreciative, in spite of his protests. He wanted Severus' touch more than he would ever dare to admit, and he wondered where it was coming from.

A few days later, when he was up to doing more than the basics, he'd made them both tea. Severus was going over his notes for the interviewer that was coming by that afternoon (he'd stopped taking interviews the few days before and after the full). Severus had started spending more time in the sitting room since the interviews had started, and Remus was glad for the company, even if it was mostly silent, save the scratching of Severus' Quick Quill on parchment. 

Remus handed Severus his cup and settled his favourite chair, curling his legs under him. He was growing used to being able to watch Severus without getting barked at, so he did, studying the frown of concentration on Severus' face until there was a knock at their door that caused Remus to jump and nearly spill his tea. He cleared his throat, set down his cup, and moved to the door.

The woman on the other side was short, with curly red hair, blue eyes, and a smile that was too wide to be genuine. Had Remus still been in the pack, he might have thought she was baring her teeth, not smiling.

"Hello," he said, when she did not speak. "I'm Remus Lupin, you must be–"

"Arabella Pur," she said, finishing his sentence for him, and then she pushed through the entrance right past him.

Remus shut the door and then turned to frown at the back of her head. If it were just him, he might have asked her to leave, but if he had endured Rita Skeeter for Severus, he could endure any manner of rudeness.

She stalked toward the dark shape on the couch until she could see Severus clearly. "Severus Snape," Arabella said, and there was something in the tone that made Remus nervous.

He reached for his wand, but before he could get to it, she had turned to point her own at him. Something hit him, first stealing his voice, then his vision, then finally control of his limbs and his balance, and he hit the floor with a thud. Remus could hear her pace away from him, toward Severus, but he couldn't do anything, and a slow growing burn started to course through his body.

" _We meet again_ ," she purred.

 

Severus heard the something hit the floor to his right, and he knew immediately that something was wrong that Remus was suddenly silent. He turned his head towards the noise, but then someone was touching him, caressing his face and... climbing into his lap, straddling him. He moved to shove her off, but ropes were quickly wrapping around his arms, tying them behind his back.

"Poor little Snape can't see me," she murmured, voice lilting, her hands petting his hair in a way that was meant to be patronizing, he was sure. "But it's doubtful he would recognise me like this anyway." 

Severus couldn't speak. He _wouldn't_ speak. His mind was too busy racing to come up with a plan to bother replying to her.

She leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "I assure you I'm still every bit as pretty as I was last you saw me on the battlefield. Do you remember?" Her fingers touched his forehead and slid down his face until they forced the lids of his eyes closed.

 _Bellatrix_. Severus jerked away from her touch, finding the back of the sofa was doing a pretty good job of keeping him in place, so he did the first thing he could think to do. He bit her. He lunged forward and clamped his teeth down on her hand, and it felt like he'd hit the juncture between her thumb and forefinger. It was amazing how quickly he drew blood, and she cried out. It was satisfying to hear, but almost as soon as it started, it was over. Something was wrapping itself around his neck, a spell, squeezing until he choked and let go. The spell released and left him coughing, but Bella had shifted back a little, and she had her hand around his throat. It was warmer than the spell had been.

"Not. Very. Nice," Bella said, and something hot and sticky was dripping on his face now. "You'd look better in your own blood, I think, but we'll just call this marking my claim." She shifted off his lap and muttered the charm to heal the wound he'd made. He could hear her walking away, toward the kitchen. Of course, she wouldn't just kill him. She liked to toy with her food before she ate it, and Severus knew he had to think of some way out of this.

"Not going to talk to me?"

She was in the kitchen now. Severus could hear her shoes on the lino.

"No one believed me, did they? But I was right all along."

Something sliced through his cheek, and he clenched his jaw not to respond, feeling the blood trickle over his skin.

"I was right about you."

Another spell grazed the underside of his nose and he wondered if she'd aimed to cut it off as the blood began to run down his upper lip.

"Goodness... How could I have missed a target that size?"

"Witty," he muttered.

"I must be getting rusty since My Master has fallen," she said, not acknowledging he'd spoken. There were cabinets being opened and closed, it sounded like silverware was being rustled. "No matter, we have all the time in the world for me to practise." 

Another cut sliced through the center of his chest. It was shallow enough not to cause major damage, but it was bleeding freely already anyway. He had to do something. Fucking Ministry thought he was a threat with a wand, and it was going to get him _killed_ without it. Unless...

Bellatrix went on, but he wasn't listening to her. He turned his head to where he'd heard Remus fall, straining for any sound of movement, but there wasn't any.

"Oh, he'll be dead soon enough." Her voice was clearer. She must have turned and saw what he was looking at and had spoken while facing him. When she went on again the voice seemed to be aimed at the walls again, and he silently tried to Accio Remus' wand.

"I think I might cut out your heart like you did mine – only I'll do it by hand," she said, and there was more rustling of cutlery.

He felt something hit him in the side, something lightweight from Remus' direction. He shifted, gripping the thin wood in his fingers, and the ropes that bound his arms fell away. Turning to watch her form, he took aim at the shadow that seemed to be drifting lazily around the kitchen and cast an Incarcerous.

It missed. Severus heard it hit the wall.

"Oh, that was cute," Bellatrix purred, "Playing with a big boy wand?"

Her shadow shifted sharply, and something was hot around his neck. Flames engulfed the tips of his hair and were quickly licking their way up towards his scalp, smoking and blistering his neck, and Severus roared. He had to be quick with his Aguamenti, and even quicker with his own curse.

His Sectumsempra hit her this time, because he heard her hiss, but it must not have done much damage because she shifted again, just a wave of lighter color Severus knew to be her hand, and this time Severus deflected whatever it was she threw at him. It he could just watch her movements... 

It was a good thing Bellatrix was never particularly subtle.

Another curse deflected, then another, and she was going to get frustrated with this soon enough, but Severus was trying to focus so that the next time he dared give up his defense to cast a curse of his own, he would hit her squarely... and then he realized he didn't have to at all if he cast a wide enough spell. He started quickly mentally thumbing through all the curses he knew. Crucio, Sectumsempra, and Avada Kedavra were all too specific, Fiendfyre, too uncontrollable, and he only wished he was close enough to cast a well aimed Conjunctivitis Curse.

Bellatrix roared as he deflected yet another curse, and then her form was getting bigger, she was getting closer, and Severus needed to stop her. He did the first thing he thought to do. With a flick of his wand, he cast a Reducto at the ceiling, hoping it wouldn't bring the house down on top of him as well, and the ceiling in the kitchen crashed in on top of her. Rubble and debris flew everywhere, and there was a sudden haze of dust in the air. The house groaned and creaked, but it didn't completely collapse... and then it was almost silent. He didn't hear her voice. He didn't see her form in what he could see of the debris, though everything had gone a little greyer, more washed out. 

He waited for a moment, wand raised, eying the new mass of shapes for movement, and when he didn't see any for a long while, he slowly backed towards where Remus had fallen until his heel hit something soft.

He spun and dropped to his knees. Forgetting Remus' wand, he felt for Remus' shoulders and turned him, trying not to let fear seize his chest. His fingers slid across Remus' chest to his neck and he pressed two fingers into skin that was a little too cool. There was a pulse. Barely. He gripped Remus' wrist and Disapparated with a crack.

Suddenly, there was far too much white. 

Severus had Apparated directly into St. Mungo's and was immediately at a loss for where he was. It didn't help that Remus' dead weight had pulled him to the ground as soon as they cracked into existence, but the white walls and white uniforms all blended together and there was very little Severus could make out, save some movement.

In his haste to get Remus to help, he'd forgotten to pick up Remus' wand again. He couldn't levitate Remus, and he wasn't sure he could carry him either. Even if he could he might wind up doing more damage if he didn't know where he was going. He reached up and snatched at something, someone, moving, and they struggled a bit, likely startled, but Severus held tight.

"He needs help. Bellatrix Lestrange." He might not have time to fully explain, so he hoped just the mention of her would get them moving.

"Al-all right," the person he grabbed answered. A female. Probably young.

He let her go and in a matter of moments, someone, many someones, were pulling Remus away from him. Severus found himself not wanting to let go, not because he wanted to keep Remus from help, but because he wanted to follow. They pried his fingers open and off of Remus and helped Severus to his feet. He barely noticed he was being touched far too much by far too many strangers as he strained to follow the huddle of shapes moving away from him with Remus in tow.

He brushed them off with and almost unconscious gesture as soon as he was stable on his feet. They were saying something about taking him in to be looked at, but he wasn't paying attention. He was trying to follow the last bits of movement he could still assume Remus was part of. "Where are they taking him?"

"I'm sorry, sir, only family is allowed back, but you need to have--"

"He's–" he started, cutting her off. His voice was tight, but then he swallowed hard. He didn't know why there seemed to be a lump in his throat, but that hardly mattered. When he finished his thought, his voice had dropped back to its normal register. "My husband."

 

***

 

It hadn't taken much of an argument for Severus to be granted his wand again. All Severus had had to do was threaten to go public with the fact that his being stripped of his wand had nearly killed two innocent men. _Relatively_ innocent, that is. The Ministry knew he would do it, too. They were already even more terse with him than usual, considering all the noise he'd been making.

He hadn't killed Bellatrix, unfortunately, but she was safely in Ministry custody now and quite incapacitated. Severus had the half formed thought that he might write the Ministry and see if they would allow him to finish the job he'd almost accomplished.

In spite of his vision, Severus couldn't help but feel more complete than he had in a long time. He had his wand back, which meant he was able to do more. He felt more independent for the first time in a long time. It was funny to realise this, actually. He wasn't independent. He was still bound to Remus, but... that somehow didn't seem to matter as much anymore.

Of course, Bellatrix had made him necessary for Remus now. The return of Severus' wand could not have come at a better time for Remus. The healers at St. Mungo's had never seen the curse Bellatrix had used on him before, but they were able to nurse him back to health over a few days with only some residual effects. It was difficult to stand for very long and he sometimes needed to be helped to make even short walks on his bad days. The healers believed that he would eventually make a full recovery with therapy.

The playing field had leveled a bit with Remus' injuries, and Severus found an interesting pattern in how they both resisted and yielded to assistance from one another, himself less so now. He'd never really thought of Remus as being particularly proud before, but now he could see it. Helping Remus was a little like a game of chess, with Remus giving over little pieces to keep the important ones safe.

It drove Severus mad... but he could respect it, none the less. 

It didn't help that he had to touch Remus quite a bit more than necessary. Remus wasn't going to get well by using levitation charms to get everywhere, so Severus had to actually help him walk around. Perhaps it was just that he'd gone so many years without being touched in even a neutral way, but something about Remus' skin, the warmth of it, set Severus' skin on fire, and he found himself spending an inordinate amounts of time trying to ignore or explain away the way it affected him.

 

***

 

Severus hadn't said as much directly, but Remus could tell that he was happier now that he had his wand back. He was supervising the rebuilding of the kitchen, checking the structure with a series of spells, doing the cooking now that he could do it with less likelihood he would burn himself or set anything on fire. Remus was almost surprised that Severus was a better cook than him.

Severus never made mention of it. He never complained that he had become Remus' crutch, and Remus sometimes wondered if it was due to his own disability. Considering Remus had been in quite a bit of pain as he laid there listening to Bellatrix torment Severus, he decided he could live with the numbness in his legs and the way they had been weakened, and he was grateful Severus didn't make an issue of it. 

Remus had been moved downstairs, due not only to his legs, but also to the destruction Severus had caused. Parts of the study and upstairs bathroom had been destroyed, and that entire level of the house was unstable. He had claimed the couch and the bathroom under the stairs as his own. Severus was a lot less reclusive now than before, and had taken to sharing Remus' couch to work on his letters and editorials, and Remus' location in the house now left little that was happening in the house to his imagination.

They still had visitors, though the Ministry was being much more strict about who was granted access to the house. It was nearly two weeks after the incident with Bellatrix had occurred that Hermione stopped by again, and asked to speak with Severus. They had disappeared into the kitchen, Remus assumed to sit at the dining room table, only to emerge again not long after.

"House Elves?!" Severus was making his way out of the kitchen briskly, Hermione on his trail.

"Yes, but that wasn't the entire-- You barely let me begin, I "

"You think that qualifies you assist me in getting the laws changed? That you learned a knitting charm and gave the House Elves clothes? They don't even want to be freed, and I don't want your help."

Remus couldn't help but smile a little at their interaction, and when Hermione looked over at him for support, she gave him a withering glance. He hid the smile as soon as he realised.

Severus settled on the couch next to Remus, and Hermione stubbornly settled into the chair next to it, in spite of the fact that Severus was clearly finished with her.

"Sever--"

"Do not be so familiar, Miss Granger."

That seemed to deflate her a little, surprisingly. Her shoulders dropped and she frowned at him. "I do work in magical law, you know."

"Then you're the enemy," Severus quipped.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Perhaps another time?" he said to Hermione.

"Perhaps she should give up right now. I don't need a champion. I am perfectly capable of doing this myself." Severus crossed his arms over his chest and settled back against the sofa.

Remus wondered if Severus would even accept help from him, let alone a former student. He was so used to doing things himself in life that he might even view accepting help as a weakness. In fact, Remus was sure that was the case, if only by the way Severus had become remarkably less withdrawn the moment he got his wand back and could do more for himself.

Hermione gave Remus another look, this one pleading, but Remus knew that right now this conversation wasn't going to go anywhere. He shrugged and gave her a little shake of his head. "I'd walk you out, but..." he started.

"It's fine, Remus." She looked thoroughly disappointed, but she sat up and walked to the door anyway. "This isn't over," she said, and then stepped outside. Remus cast the charm to lock the door and Severus snorted.

"What?"

"'This isn't over?' That was a little over dramatic, wasn't it?" Severus said.

"So says the man that just called Hermione Granger 'the enemy.'"

Severus frowned. "They hated me before. I fail to see why they cannot continue to do so now." Severus leaned forward and picked up a parchment he'd left on the small coffee table. He set the Quick Quill to work, and it began scribbling furiously. It was funny how the normally generic look of Quick Quill lettering looked a little spiky when Severus used it, as if the intensity of his thought caused the quill to move more feverishly than it normally would have. 

"You are not the man they thought they knew."

The quill slowed, then stopped when Severus addressed Remus again. "I do not need her, or anyone else, to feel they must suddenly rush to my side in some sort of penance for poor Severus Snape having been treated as he was in life. I am sick and bloody tired of reading the muck they publish about me, painting me as some tragic hero archetype, feeding this notion that everyone ought to rush to my aid now, because, oh, wasn't I always there for them, _really_?"

Remus paused, eying Severus for a moment. It had to be difficult for Severus, feeling so exposed, so publicly. That Severus was too proud to accept people's apologies and offers of assistance didn't help. Or maybe he truly felt himself undeserving of it. "I think Hermione is just being Hermione," Remus said. "Besides, it's probably helping your campaign, don't you think?"

Severus pursed his lips and made a non committal noise.

"What are you writing now?"

"The Prophet ought to know that the Ministry nearly cost two men their lives because they deprived one his wand."

"Severus, you told them you wouldn't–"

"They held me to no oath," Severus cut him off, then turned back to face the parchment and the quill began to move again. Remus supposed he couldn't blame Severus for being vindictive about it, and wondered why he wasn't.

He took the time to look at Severus. He'd been doing a lot of that lately, and it seemed he couldn't stop himself. The spell Bellatrix had cast that set Severus' hair on fire had resulted in him having to cut it. It wasn't short, but most of it now hung about chin length, and while it was still oily, it looked less lank like it was than it used to... it was left looking almost unkempt in a way that Severus likely would have hated had he been able to see it, but that Remus found rather appealing. Severus looked... _well-shagged_.

Severus ran his hand along the back of his neck, hooking it there for a moment in a gesture that had become common since the incident with Bellatrix. It was as if Severus felt the back of his neck had been left unprotected.

"I've never seen so much of your neck," Remus said softly, then blushed at having said it.

This time the quill did not slow to a stop, but froze immediately. "Why are you looking at my neck?"

 _Because I want to taste it and see if it feels as smooth under my tongue as it looks like it would be_ , Remus answered in his mind, and wondered why he couldn't stop thinking things like that about Severus. "I was just observing," he muttered. "I think... if you don't mind..." Remus started. It was so difficult to ask for help with day to day living, but he didn't have a choice. "I think I'd like to have a bath."

Severus only nodded and put his things down, then stood and held out his hand to Remus. Remus took the offered hand, and with their combined efforts he was hoisted off the couch. They made their way slowly to the small bathroom just under the stairs, and Severus let Remus come to settle on the edge of the bathtub, where he slowly began undressing himself.

It had been awkward the first few times they'd done this, but it was getting easier to swallow his pride and do it. If he could support himself just right he could do all the undressing himself, and he was thankful for that. What he wasn't thankful for, was the way Severus seemed to watch him. He knew Severus could only make out shapes and shadows and probably wasn't seeing much at all, but Remus couldn't help but feel a little laid bare at the perceived scrutiny. What was worse was that a small part of him liked it.

After the discomfort of the newness of this had passed, Remus had suddenly found himself growing hard just getting naked in front of Severus with Severus "watching" him. Severus would help him up and into the tub, then he'd leave, and Remus had spent the last few baths not getting very clean at all, but rather relieving himself in the warm water. It was something he clearly needed to stop, but he couldn't, and somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if he'd been in the mood for a bath just now only because he'd been having those thoughts about Severus again.

He finished undressing as Severus drew the bath, and then he reached out to take Severus' hand in indication that he was ready. Severus pulled him up and guided him into the bath... and then he slipped. It wasn't the first time it had happened with his legs as weak as they were, but this time he almost couldn't catch himself. Severus' grip tightened and pulled forward and in doing so he over corrected and pulled Remus back out of the tub, and they both went stumbling back until Remus was slumped against Severus, who had backed them against the wall on accident.

At first the stumble was enough to distract Remus, and Severus as well, but after a moment, Severus gasped softly, and Remus pulled back to the expression of shock on his face... and then he felt something pulse to life under Severus' clothes slightly, just to the left of where his own length was pressed against Severus. Severus made a fast, jerky movement to get Remus away without withdrawing his support, then walked Remus back to the bathtub. He settled Remus in again with less care than normal, and was out the door without another word.

 

Severus slipped out of the bathroom and shut the door behind him. If he would have been thinking properly, he might have chided his heart for daring to beat so fast, so hard, against the inside of his ribcage. That could not have just happened. That _should not_ have just happened. Severus realised after a moment that he was simply standing outside the bathroom door and hadn't moved, but his mind seemed stuck in place. His body had apparently followed its lead.

Severus forced his feet to move, after quite a bit of urging, and made it to his bedroom. He collapsed in bed and tried to catch his breath (when had he lost it?) It wasn't as though he had never once entertained the thought of Remus in such a manner. Remus' touch felt good and gentle and made his skin tingle, the sensation sometimes lingering for minutes after he'd stopped touching the other man. He was lonely, in spite of living with Remus, and had spent his entire life that way... but... it was just ridiculous fantasy. He'd gone a lifetime avoiding touch and his body was simply responding, so Severus had done his very best to ignore it. Even on the rare occasion that the fantasy went beyond the touch of Remus' hand to the sound of his smile in something he said, or the way that he insisted on re-folding the Prophet exactly how it came, even when he knew Severus was just going to wreck its perfect creases, Severus had pushed it down and away as fiercely as possible... because there was no way possible Remus would ever want him.

Severus had convinced himself some time ago that he was content with this arrangement as it was, that there was no use in even hoping for more. That same voice in his mind was talking to him now, telling him that Remus' state of arousal had nothing to do with him, that he was reading too much into it.

He rolled to his side, tucked his hands between his knees to keep them from going to his cock, which was now aching with need at the very thought of Remus now... in the bath, hard and relieving himself. He would ignore it as he always did, go back and help Remus out of the bath, and they would go on with life as if nothing had happened. Simple. Rational. Safe.

 

***

 

Neither of them mentioned it. Neither of them dared to broach the subject of what had happened, but they went about their daily lives as normal. The slight difference was that Severus seemed to spend even more time in the sitting room working than he had before after the first couple of days had passed. Remus wondered if it was because he wanted to be near Remus after what happened and he didn't know how to approach it, or if he was simply trying to distract himself with more work, as he didn't speak any more than he had before. On more than a few occasions, Severus had drawn a breath as if to speak, and then seemingly changed his mind, and Remus was too terrified of what he might say in regards to what had happened that he didn't push. After a week had passed, Remus found himself wanting to bring it up, but he couldn't. It seemed to hang in the air, and the fact that Severus' body had responded was driving him mad. Why couldn't he just come out and say he wanted Severus? It had been plain enough, and he thought Severus' response indicated Severus wanted him as well.

Severus had gone to bed especially late, but it hardly seemed to matter. Remus couldn't sleep. Severus shut the door to his room and the sitting room was engulfed in darkness as Remus extinguished to lights and lost himself in thought. Had his little spill cost them the comfort they had slipped into? At first, Severus had slipped into touching him only as much as necessary, which was less than he had been before. That was interesting to note, how little Severus could touch him and still help him. But after a few days, Severus seemed to have forgotten the distance he was trying to maintain, and Remus wondered if that was because it was tiring to remain so aloof with someone you needed to touch, or if Severus had grown to accept what had happened in that bathroom. He wasn't sure how long it had been, his mind was turning everything over and over again for what had to be the millionth time, but it was some time later that Severus stepped out of his bedroom door again, staring straight ahead into the room. He didn't speak until Remus moved to look over the back of the couch at him, and Remus assumed he'd heard the rustle of fabric when he moved.

"You can't be comfortable in here."

Remus' brows drew together. "I'm fine," he said softly, then cleared his throat. "It really shouldn't be too much longer before I can move back upstairs."

"In the meantime, you might make a quicker recovery if you were able to stretch out," Severus suggested.

Remus didn't know where this was going, or why, but he shifted again onto his arm and regarded Severus calmly. "How do you know I can't stretch out completely?" Remus asked, and then wondered if he should have.

"I hear your bones cracking every morning when you sit up. Quite frankly, I'm sick of hearing it."

Remus blinked at him, then bit his lip... but he couldn't stop himself from chuckling anyway, and it felt good that he felt comfortable enough to do it. He'd spent the last week on pins and needles. "I can't ask you to give up your bed, Severus."

"I'm not offering to give up my bed."

It took a moment for what Severus said to sink in. Didn't Severus just offer to– Oh. _Oh_. "Oh." _Brilliant response_. Remus paused for a long moment. What did that mean? Was the offer really as simple as Severus made it sound? "All right," Remus replied after a while.

Severus had been standing in the doorway, his expression as blank as it might be if he'd only just asked Remus for tea. When Remus answered, Severus finally shifted and walked over to the couch, moving around to the front and holding out a hand to Remus, which Remus took. He'd been laying down, so his legs were worse than normal, just as they were in the mornings after sleeping. Remus had to lean on him fully as they walked into Severus' bedroom.

Severus guided him to the edge of the bed, then moved to shut the door. When Severus returned to the opposite side of the bed, he did something Remus would have never expected Severus to do in a million years. Severus took off his dressing gown.

Remus couldn't breath, his mouth was suddenly dry, and his fingers closed around fistfuls of the sheets. He couldn't stop staring at the expanse of pale skin, the planes of Severus' hips... the partially erect cock. Remus instantly wanted to suck it into his mouth, drag the flat of his tongue along the underside and work it to full attention between his lips.

Severus indicated nothing, but judging by Severus' state of semi arousal, Remus thought he should probably remove his clothing as well.

This was the strangest foreplay Remus had ever indulged in. Was this even foreplay? If Remus was wondering if it was, he doubted that it could be, but it was oddly exciting anyway in a voyeuristic sort of way. Remus pulled his shirt over his head and then worked his way out of his pants, his own cock springing free, already fuller than Severus'. Severus turned his gaze to the rustling of fabric, and once it stopped, when Remus tossed his clothes to the floor, Severus slid into the bed, under the covers. Remus followed, and they both laid there on their backs for a long moment.

Was this it? Remus was starting to get the ridiculous idea that the Severus might not have been excited at all. Maybe he just slept in the nude and Remus had jumped to conclusions. It wasn't until Severus spoke that Remus realised why this was so uncomfortable.

"I wish I could see you," he whispered.

Remus swallowed thickly, and then made the first move to roll onto his side toward Severus. Severus turned his head and looked at him, and they were close enough that Severus was looking him in the eyes, even if he didn't realise it.

"You can still touch me, and hear me... and taste me."

Severus sucked in a breath at that, and Remus slid his hand over Severus' waist. It was enough to steal his breath, the feel of smooth skin under his fingertips and the way Severus shifted, not away from the touch, but _into_ it.

"What colour are your eyes, Lupin?"

Remus blinked, then smiled. Of course Severus would not have paid attention before. Even if he had known before, he'd been a little too preoccupied with the war to have bothered to retain such a trivial bit of information. "Brown with flecks of green," he answered, and leaned closer to Severus.

"And the grey in your hair?"

Remus pressed his lips to Severus', and Severus gasped softly in response. It almost undid Remus that Severus was so responsive. He had to wonder how often Severus had done this, as his reactions were almost that of a man that had been starved of touch. Remus slid his tongue along Severus' lower lip, and Severus moaned and opened his mouth to allow Remus to kiss him fully. Severus' tongue was hot against his and the slide of it over his own made Remus ache for more, but he made himself pull back just enough to whisper against Severus' lips. "Completely taken over my temples, I'm afraid."

Severus reached up, finding Remus' face and threading his fingers into the hair at Remus' temples before sliding all the way into his hair and pulling Remus down for another kiss. One hand pulled away and then the backs of Severus' knuckles were brushing his temples again. "Coarse," Severus mumbled.

"If you had any grey, you might have known that it was."

"I always hated the way you used to smile at me."

Remus knew exactly what Severus meant without clarification, and he leaned forward and pressed his face into the curve between Severus' jaw and neck, letting his lips curve against Severus' skin. Fingers went tighter in his hair, and Remus breathed in Severus' scent, amazed that he was even allowed to do it.

And then there was a ragged intake of breath, a heave of Severus' chest, and sound from Severus that Remus couldn't read. When he pulled back to look at Severus, Severus' cheeks were wet and Remus was suddenly terrified. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," he babbled, his voice barely above a whisper, but Severus pulled him back and Remus didn't understand what was happening until he spoke.

Severus' voice was barely audible as well. "...I'm not upset."

Remus pulled back just enough to look at Severus, heart hammering in his throat. He wanted to kiss the tears away, but Severus was wiping his face and shifting a little, and Remus knew he was uncomfortable. He leaned down again to taste Severus' lips, his jaw, his neck... and it was every bit as smooth and perfect as he'd imagined it would be. "I want you," Remus whispered against Severus' Adam's apple, and he could feel the shiver that ran through Severus' body. Severus' fingers were in his hair, and he was tilting his head back and pressing his neck up against Remus' mouth. He was pulling Remus to him gently, urging Remus on, so Remus scraped his teeth over the bump, worrying the skin beneath his teeth until it was heated, and Severus groaned.

Remus shifted down a bit, and it was difficult to properly pepper Severus' chest with kisses without climbing on top of him. He didn't think his legs would hold him, however, so he dragged the flat of his tongue over Severus' nipple, reaching out and pinching the one farthest from him until it came to attention, and then rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. Severus arched up off the bed, a sound somewhere between a moan and gasp coming from his mouth. Remus found it was almost hard to believe that he was doing this, that Severus' face was so open, his lips parting as he panted softly. It was enough to make him greedy. He wanted to reach down and touch himself, guide himself into Severus and watch him as he drove into him.

His hand automatically slid down and between Severus' legs, brushing past his cock and over his perineum in a way that drew a groan out of Severus' lips, and he pressed the tip of his index finger against Severus' pucker. Severus gasped, and then his entire body went from plaint to tense at once. Remus quickly pulled his hand away and looked up to see Severus was frowning and his chest was rising and falling rapidly.

"I haven't," Severus started. The words sounded difficult to say, as if he were pushing them out against his will. "Ever..."

Oh. That explained a lot. Remus pushed himself up and kissed Severus to keep him from feeling he needed to explain any more. He dipped his tongue into Severus' mouth and kissed him in a way he hoped was reassuring. He drew it out until he felt Severus' body start to relax under him again, until Severus' movements shifted once again from timid to bold, and he started to give back into the kiss as much as Remus was giving him. "All right," Remus said softly. He was far from experienced himself, but he knew what he was doing and what he liked, at least. Still, this would require a much different approach.

His lips moved back down Severus' body, gliding over skin that was so eager for touch. He moved over Severus' neck and chest again and found himself laving his tongue across the softer part of Severus' stomach. The fingers that had been in his hair were now scrabbling at his shoulders, and Remus couldn't tell if Severus was aroused or ticklish by the way he squirmed. Possibly both, but it was too fascinating to stop. Remus traced shapes across Severus' skin, moving lower with each swipe of his tongue until Severus' toes were curling and uncurling against the mattress, and Remus' cock was painfully full and aching for touch.

Remus ducked his head, still resting next to Severus' side, and sucked Severus' cock into his mouth. Severus thrust up automatically. "Oh! Remus," he groaned, and Remus couldn't help the moan that only the simple use of his first name caused. Severus bucked again, this time with less control, pushing up into the vibrations Remus' moan had caused and Remus planted his hands on Severus' hips and began to hum softly as he slid his tongue and lips down, taking Severus' prick into his mouth. God, it felt good, the hard length sliding between his lips, and Severus' hands were gripping the sheets so firmly his knuckles had gone white.

Remus pulled away briefly, only to mutter the word "Relax," and then he whispered a lubrication charm that made Severus shiver. Remus covered Severus' cock with his mouth again, snaking his tongue along the underside of the shaft in hopes that it would relax Severus as he pressed a finger inside. Severus tensed only slightly and squirmed a little, and Remus looked up to see his brows were drawn together. He was thinking about it too much.

Remus left his finger inside of Severus and focused again on Severus' cock. He pulled away, kissing up the underside of it and then flicking his tongue against the slit. Severus gasped and clenched around his finger in response, and Remus swallowed him again, humming tunelessly. After a few moments, Severus shifted and bore down against his finger and Remus took the hint. He pressed his finger inside, trying not to think of his cock inside the tight warmth, because he might explode from the slow pace of this, and soon his finger was keeping time with his mouth. Severus was gasping for breath and Remus closed his eyes, taking it in the way Severus couldn't seem to stop moving, writhing, with each swipe of his tongue.

He slid another finger inside Severus and this time it was easier for Severus to adjust, then Remus crooked his fingers and found Severus' prostate. Severus cried out, arching back against the bed and, after only a few moments of gentle circling, Severus exploded in Remus' mouth, pulsing warm, salty fluid against Remus' tongue as he clenched and released around Remus' fingers. He panted and moaned, and Remus couldn't get enough, milking it for every last drop.

Remus was trembling with need, but he watched as the orgasm shook Severus, watched as he settled again, his expression more relaxed than Remus might have thought possible before. He hadn't moved his fingers, and once Severus had caught his breath, Remus wiggled them inside of Severus. Severus gasped, his eyes flying open again, and his breath quickly left him once more.

"God, I want you," Remus whispered again, fingers moving only slightly, and then Severus nodded his understanding and consent.

Remus shifted up again, his lips meeting Severus' again, and noting the colour in Severus' skin, a warmth he'd never seen on Severus before. He he hadn't considered how this was going to work with his legs as weak as they were until now, and he took his time kissing Severus, trailing his fingers over the planes of his body as he figured it out. When he pulled back, he nudged Severus to roll to his side, facing away from him and slid up behind him, forming his body to fit up against Severus'.

He kissed along the back of Severus' shoulders, pausing to nip at the skin from time to time, and then cast a fresh lubrication charm. He found his hand was trembling when he reached down to take himself in his own hand, and he wondered how much of that was desire and how much of that was nerves. He'd never been anyone's first before, and it wasn't as though he was even fully capable at the moment. That Severus would trust him with this was truly amazing... and terrifying. Severus had seemed to enjoy what he'd done already, however, and had consented to more, so Remus pressed the head of his cock to Severus' pucker.

That pressure alone was enough to shatter his resolve, but he forced himself to calm. "Can I?" he asked, voice shaking, unsure if Severus wanted more preparation or not, but Severus pressed back.

"Yes," he moaned into the pillow, and Remus pushed inside slowly.

It was amazing being inside of Severus. His body seemed to just suck Remus in, and Severus made a strangled noise. Remus could hear him clawing at the sheets, so he held still, waiting for Severus to adjust. It was difficult. He fit so perfectly against Severus that every breath he took seemed to create just enough friction between their bodies to make Remus want to forget what he was doing and lose himself in the feeling... and then Severus shifted and mumbled "Move," and Remus did.

He was slow, painstakingly so, at first, allowing Severus to adjust the the burn and slide of something much thicker than fingers inside of him, but pleasure was coursing up and down through his body and it was difficult to stay steady. His balls were already tightening. God, had it been so long since the last time? Remus dug his nails into Severus' hip and pulled him back against him as he rolled his hips forward, and Severus moaned. Remus sped and found himself wishing he could see Severus, he wanted to watch what this was doing to the other man, so he shifted so that he was propped up on the arm under him.

Severus' hair was strewn across his face, which was twisted in pleasure, and his cheeks were even more coloured than before. He was panting heavily and Remus looked down to see Severus was already hard again and fisting himself, his purpled cock sliding between his fingers. Remus' hips bucked, and they both moaned in unison, then Remus let himself go, abandoning himself to the pull of Severus' pliant body.

He released Severus' hip and interlaced his hand with Severus', squeezing and pulling the other man's cock until Severus was moaning and coming over their hands. He clenched around Remus and Remus felt himself fall over the edge. His thrusts went erratic and then he stilled, spilling out into Severus, his body convulsing a little against Severus' back until he was spent. With a heavy exhalation of breath, he collapsed against the bed, letting himself slip from Severus' body, and he pressed another kiss against Severus' back.

He hummed in contentment, his fingers stroking down Severus' side. Once his mind had come back down to earth, he had the stupid compulsion to ask how it was, in spite of the fact that he bloody well knew the answer, but after a few moments Severus' breath had evened out and slowed considerably. When Remus whispered his name, Severus was silent, having succumbed to sleep.

 

***

 

Life seemed to settle quite a bit after that. Months passed, and while Severus was still fighting the current laws and Remus' legs regained their strength, Remus settled happily into bed with him on a nightly basis, some nights just to sleep, and others for more. Regardless of pre-sleep activities, however, it didn't seem to matter how far apart from each other on the mattress they were when they drifted off, they generally woke entangled in some manner. Remus was happy to find that Severus wasn't embarrassed by this. Maybe the other man had finally accepted that he deserved to have that, and Remus wasn't about to bring it up.

Severus gave far fewer personal interviews ever since Bellatrix had invaded their home, but rather continued most of his correspondence through owl post. Xiomara seemed to have accepted her fate of being endlessly in flight, thankfully.

Hermione had started making even more frequent appearances at their home, often unannounced. Severus, to his credit, was at least civil to her, after he accepted the fact that she would not give up, even when she bombarded him with questions about the best courses of action to take. Severus answered, corrected, and sometimes insulted her, but she seemed to let it slide off her back. And then she would leave and Remus would be treated to a lengthy diatribe on Gryffindor sensibilities, and how everything she'd suggested was every bit as reckless as he would expect from a Gryffindor. He'd go on to say that the only way to beat the system was to subvert it, not just jump in yelling like an idiot.

It was the same speech every time, but Remus found himself growing fond of it. That Severus would say so much all at once was a bit of a treat. Still, listening to Severus talk about what they were trying to accomplish left a lingering feeling of dread in his gut.

What if he had grown too attached to Severus too quickly? What if Severus only thought he wanted Remus because he had no other options? It didn't matter that the law was unfair to Remus. There was this selfish part of him that didn't want Severus to succeed, just because it meant he might lose the company of the man he'd grown so used to over the last months, a man he never thought he'd know never thought it was possible to know so intimately.

The tides were turning quickly, however, and when the headlines finally graced the front page of the Prophet, Remus felt ill. He read the article and left it sitting on the dining room table for Severus like he always did. He made himself some tea and settled into the couch, attempting to read, but he couldn't concentrate. The rustling of paper as Severus refolded it so he could better cast the charm to read it was too much distraction for Remus to concentrate and he found himself re-reading the same sentence over and over again. Each time he did, it made less and less sense.

After a while, Severus appeared in the sitting room and made his way to the sofa, sinking into it next to Remus. He looked a little lost, just staring ahead, a frown creasing his brow. "You know, if I were a different man, I might get a swelled head from all the publicity."

Remus laughed, a small soundless laugh. He didn't really feel like laughing. "Good thing for that," he said. He wasn't really listening to himself, but rather making mindless conversation as he waited for Severus to start talking about leaving, planning where he was going to go. "The structural integrity of the house is already compromised. Not sure it could take the pressure, should your head get bigger, what with the war hero status, and Order of Merlin, and an unsurprising talent for politics." Remus was babbling and he knew it. 

The corner of Severus' lip curled, but otherwise Severus didn't react, and the half smile did not reach his eyes.

"Why are--" Remus started to ask. "I thought you'd be happy."

Severus pursed his lips in thought. "I am. I got what I wanted," he said, but it didn't change the expression on his face.

Remus nodded a little and took a sip of his tea. His stomach twisted at what he knew he was about to say, but the words came out anyway. "What then?"

"What now?" Severus asked in return.

What now? Remus frowned and shifted, glancing over his shoulder at Severus' door. He knew what was coming. He didn't want to postpone the inevitable any longer that he had to, because every moment he let himself think Severus was going to stay, the harder it would be when he left. "Well, I suppose you'll want to start looking for a new place... unless you'd rather I leave."

Severus' frown grew deeper and he turned to gaze towards Remus. He seemed to stiffen, and it was interesting to watch, only because Remus hadn't realised how relaxed his posture had initially been. Interesting, but worrying all the same. "Right," Severus finally said. He nodded and Remus felt his heart sink into his shoes. "I'll start looking tomorrow." 

That tone of voice... Remus couldn't remember the last time he'd heard it and it stung. Severus seemed to pause for a moment, seemingly stuck in his place, but it didn't last long. With a jerky sort of movement, Severus pushed himself off the sofa and headed for his room. Remus stupidly wanted to say something, _anything_ , to make him stop, but the door shut behind Severus before Remus could even form the words.

 

***

 

Severus hadn't known exactly what to expect when the headlines that his work had payed off graced the front page. He had accomplished what he meant to do, and then suddenly he had nothing to occupy his mind with any longer. He no longer had a battle to fight and it felt awkward. Of course, as soon as Remus opened his mouth and made it clear he didn't intend to continue the relationship now that the law had been revoked, Severus suddenly had much to occupy his thoughts. It had surprised him quite a bit, considering how they'd spent the last few months together, and in that surprise, he'd shut down. It was as if a light had gone out.

He knew he should not have been surprised at all. He knew the night he had invited Remus to his bed that he was making a huge mistake, but he was weak, and he'd given into his desires. He was paying for that now, and he should have expected it. What Remus would settle for when he had no other alternative was likely very different from what he actually wanted.

The damage to the house was mostly repaired and Remus moved back to his own bedroom. Severus found he was having trouble sleeping again for the first time since the war had ended. Even in his little cell, he'd slept better than he was now.

The Ministry may have released Severus, and every one else that had been affected by the marriage law, but the Ministry was still attempting to control their lives. In the old law's place came a series of new ones regarding what witches and wizards that bore the title "undesirable" or "undefinable" were and were not allowed to do on their own, without Ministry "aid." Relocating had become a task that Severus was not allowed to do on his own, which only made matters worse, as the following weeks seemed almost unbearable. The house felt cold and silent.

The Ministry was swamped, overloaded, and they were dealing with the great number of requests that the marriage bonds be broken as effectively as they seemed to handle everything, with all the grace, calm, and civility of your average troll. Severus had not heard a word about his relocation request, but Cornfoot contacted them after about two weeks had passed about the request to dispel the magical bond between them.

The house was almost chillingly still the morning Cornfoot was due to come and perform the spell. It was worse than it had been the day Cornfoot had come to cast the initial spell, because at least that day they had been talking to one another. He was not talking to Remus, however. Or was it that Remus wasn't talking to him? Either. Both. They didn't even share meals any longer, but their paths crossed now and again.

Severus heard the knock at the door from his room, but he didn't move to get it. Time seemed to stand still as he listened for Remus. He had just been in the kitchen. Severus had heard him, and yet there was no sound now. There was another knock, and Severus finally pushed out of his chair and went to the door.

"Hello, Severus," Cornfoot greeted, a little too happily, and Severus felt the shorter man brush past him into the sitting room. He turned and followed his movements before shutting the door.

"Where's Remus?"

"I don't kn--"

"I'm here." There was another form moving in the room now, and Severus couldn't help but notice the pace of movement was slow, almost sedated.

It didn't stop him from stepping forward anyway and lifting his hand. "Let's get this done," he said tersely. If this was going to happen, he wanted it over as quickly as possible.

For a moment, he wondered if he'd misjudged how close Remus was, because Remus did not take his hand in return as soon as he'd expected it... but after what seemed like a lifetime, warm fingers closed over his and Severus had the sudden urge to squeeze them and pull Remus against him. He battered the idea down.

Cornfoot seemed to hesitate, too, and Severus couldn't help but notice he was unusually quiet. "Ready?" His voice was directed at Remus, and Remus must have nodded, because shortly after the tip of Cornfoot's wand was against Severus' hand.

Spells and their counter spells rarely seemed true opposites in nature most of the time, but it was strange how this one was. The original spell had sounded almost lyrical, but the string of words coming out of Cornfoot's mouth now was almost grating. It seemed to sweep through Severus, an almost sucking feeling that moved from the center of his body out, surfacing on his skin. His skin prickled and all the sensation started racing to his hand where it seemed to force his fingers from Remus'.

Remus' fingers tried to cling at the last second, squeezing his own tightly, the last of their magical bond fighting, and then Remus' hand was gone. No one spoke for a long moment, but Cornfoot's shadow bounced slightly to Severus' left, and then his voice pierced the silence. "Must be off then. You've created quite a deal of work for me Severus."

"Mister Snape, if you will," Severus replied. He listened to Cornfoot's footfall towards the door, then it clicked open and shut. Severus didn't move, but he watched Remus' form. He couldn't tell what Remus was doing, but he didn't dare ask. "One down and one to go. I supposed that's something," he said. It was probably the first thing he'd said to Remus since Remus had ended their relationship. Remus made a small noise that Severus couldn't quite read. 

Fine. They could continue to not speak.

Severus turned and started to walk towards his room, and he heard Remus settle heavily on the sofa behind him. He had his bedroom door half shut when another noise caught his attention. Remus sniffed and drew a ragged breath, and then let out an almost silent sob. Severus froze, chest clenching painfully. Remus couldn't be _crying_... but then Severus heard the sound again, this time softer, like Remus was trying to stifle it.

Severus didn't understand. He couldn't process what was happening, and his first instinct was to flee, to step into his room, shut the door behind him and pretend he hadn't heard any of it... but he couldn't. After a few moment of listening, trying to gather something from the thoughts spinning in his head that would explain what was happening reasonably, Severus turned back around and walked into the room, cautiously moving as if every step might shatter the moment.

He came to a stop near the sofa. He didn't have to announce his presence. He could tell by the way Remus was sniffing harder now and trying to stop the erratic breathing that Remus saw him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Severus." Remus sounded as if it was painful to speak, and when he spoke again it was almost inaudible. "I just kept hoping you would change your mind."

It didn't make any sense. Change his mind?

Remus stood and started to walk away and Severus stepped forward, reached out to him and tried to grab his wrist, but he missed. His fingers caught fabric, however, and he curled them tightly to keep Remus in place. Remus gasped softly, and his breath sped again, but otherwise he made no further move to pull away or come near.

Severus was rooted to the spot himself, as a whirl of thought seemed intent on shaking every last bit of reason out of him. He didn't even know why he had lunged for Remus just then, except maybe that he was confused about what had just happened, and he didn't want Remus to leave him confused. He hadn't even realised he'd done it until it was too late, and he wasn't about to take it back, in spite of how out of place it felt.

 _Change his mind?_ About what had just happened? It was the only conclusion that Severus could draw, and yet it still made very little sense. Remus had wanted to move on. He'd _suggested_ it. But Severus' mind kept slipping back to the way Remus' fingers had clamped down at the last second when Cornfoot was performing the spell, and before he could stop it, the words were out of his mouth. "You were trying to hold on." It wasn't really a question, though it was. "That wasn't the bond. That was you," he whispered.

Remus' breath caught, and Severus felt a little tug at the fabric, as if Remus were pulling away, but he held it tighter. "I--it was," Remus admitted, the whisper sending a thrill through Severus.

"Why did you tell me to leave?" Severus asked, his voice an urgent whisper to quell the clamor of questions in his head.

"I didn't. I didn't." And now Remus' voice, still soft, sounded just as urgent as his own thoughts had grown, and the tension in the fabric he was holding loosened and Remus moved closer. "I didn't want you to leave, I _expected_ you-- You were fighting that law so hard."

And now Severus understood, and the noise in his head stopped. He closed his eyes, wishing the tension in his body would uncoil, wanting badly to pull Remus to him, but he didn't know if it was too much too soon after the last few weeks. "I suppose I've grown used to fighting other people's battles for them. I didn't stop when my motives changed," he said in reply.

Remus' lips were on him so fast it stole his breath, and then fingers were in his hair, and all he could do was pull Remus against him. He'd missed the feeling of Remus, the whisper of breath against his cheek as Remus kissed him, the way Remus wanted him so much he trembled a little when he held him. Remus was planting small butterfly kisses over his lips and chin and cheek, and the light that had gone out a few weeks prior switched back on, even though Severus could taste tears on his lips.

Remus pulled back barely, his erratic breathing still somewhere between excitement and pain, and Severus couldn't help but wonder at what they'd just thrown away out of simple miscommunication. "What now?" he whispered, as Remus' nose brushed his lightly.

Remus exhaled heavily and went silent, drawing a new breath in slowly, as if steadying himself. Severus couldn't help but still. It seemed like ages before Remus spoke. "Tea?" he suggested, voice cracking lightly.

 _Tea_. Severus closed his eyes, couldn't help but snort, then leaned up and pressed his lips against Remus' again.


End file.
